January Hmmmm.

It’s January 10th. I’m sat on the train and on my way back to Leicester. I’ve had a nice Christmas and don’t really want to leave – not the place, just the people.

Anyway, my point is that it’s January 10th. January the 10th and I’m only just deciding my New Years resolutions right here, right now on the train. Oops.

I don’t usually make concrete resolutions, I’m pretty easy on myself, but I’ve got to make them and stick to them this year!

Begin, shall I?

Climb girl, climb.

On my return to uni, I am purchasing my insurance card which allows me to join the climbing club, then I can climb regularly and hopefully gain more confidence, strength and technique. I’m afraid of falling, but the more confidence I get on the wall, the less I fear the height and the falling part becomes less likely to happen.

#HealthyGoals

This resolution just involves sticking to my healthy eating habits no matter where I am – maybe it will help others around me eat a little better too?

Less sugary temptations, more fruits and nuts!

Balancing the pounds

The pounds I refer to here are of the financial kind. I need to try my best to only buy necessities and just treat myself once in a while.

Easier said than done, but one of those money box challenges may help me save.

ZzzzzZzzzzzZzz

I must go to bed earlier, Netflix less and avoid napping during the day. Or just go to bed earlier.

Stress less

About everything. Maybe organising myself as much as possible will help, the more sleep certainly will too.

I shall focus on less things at once, tackling things one at a time, whatever they are, will certainly make life easier. It may also help me focus more.

That’s all of my New Years resolutions, or at least what I can think of right now!

I’m looking forward to climbing more and becoming stronger because of it.

I look forward to seeing the ones I love again soon, sucks being away from your favourite people.

Until next time,

XOXO

Hannah.

Goodbye 2015

This year has been interesting, it started out as a mix of good and shit. This continued for most of the year.

I got into university this year, finally passed a certain exam that had been holding me back for a very long time, quit my job and made a few hair mistakes.

My personal life took quite a hit, but others around me seemed to be happy. For me, the positivity that I focused on throughout most of this year was from educational success and I’m thankful to be ending this year a hell of a lot happier than I started it, thanks to other areas in my life (which I like to keep private on here, if you hadn’t already noticed).

On the subject of privacy, I decided to delete my Facebook and make my new account more private. I was fed up of getting creepy requests and messages from complete strangers, this started to get out of hand and I’m glad I deleted it. I’m now less addicted to Facebook than I was and one of my resolutions will most probably be to cut down on social media because that’s not where real life is and it’s easy to forget that when you’re on it too much.

Maybe everyone should make that resolution and start living for the moment and not for likes on your profile.

I’m looking forward to what 2016 has to bring, but I’m not looking forward to the countless essays I have to write for all my modules.

2016 is going to be a healthier one and I am going to take care of myself and maybe get some of the ink that I’ve wanted for a while… Maybe a new piercing too?

Either way, I hope you guys have a great new year and I’ll try to post more on 2016 (maybe a resolutions list in early January).

Love ya, stay happy and be safe however you’re celebrating tonight!

XOXO

TFH.

 

 

 

A Little Bit Longer

In exactly two weeks I will be moving to Leicester in preparation for Fresher’s Week and studying at De Montfort University.

I’m still amazed that something actually went my way academically, after all the bad luck I’ve had in that area, part of me was expecting the worst.

Nonetheless here I am, preparing for one of the biggest changes in my life so far and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t scared. The anxiety I feel is mainly about friendships; I’m worried about drifting apart from people while they are wrapped up I their own things, I feel I may get left behind. Like the dust left behind when a car shoots off into the distance.

I’m taking forever to pack, mainly because I am not only packing things for uni, but I’m packing my bedroom away and saying goodbye forever to the room that I grew up in.

It’s partly the disturbance of objects that have been in one place for so long that is making me sad and also my attempt at throwing things out. I find myself going through everything and reminiscing, everything I have come across so far has had memories attached, making it that little bit harder to throw said things away.

I need to get a shimmy on with all this packing now and just let go of anything holding me back, now is the time to clear out and allow myself space for new objects with new memories.

As the weeks pass, I’m becoming more and more ready to move. I’m ready for this new chapter, to start over with my personal life. Living three hours from home is a pretty good way to start over too.

I’m obviously going to come home and visit, because I’ve got to see the lovely people back home still, haven’t I?

I will miss my friends and family at home, but it will be nice to get a sense of true independence.

Time to get my pack on!

Speak soon,

XOXO

Hannah.

Pack Up Your Troubles

My idea of packing is procrastinating by becoming re-acquainted with all of the belongings that had slowly lost their use, but still meant enough to me to hoard over the years until now.

I am a naturally reflective person anyway, but when it comes to digging up everything in the room that I have grown up in it also makes me rather sad also. I feel like this is the end of an era, I am letting go of the past, but keeping my memories. This is not only a time to de-clutter and minimise the amount of belongings I have, it is also a time to tidy up my emotions; As I let go of things that I have held onto for many years for the wrong reasons, I am also letting go of those memories attached.

Obviously I will keep many things with high sentimental value, but I must also remember that the memories don’t necessarily live within those objects unless I let them, they live in my mind. It’s time to let go of anything that I am holding onto because I think it is a memory and realise that it truly is just an object.

My packing strategy is simple; I am keeping the things of high importance, luckily many things that hold sentimental value to me are conveniently the right size to fit in my diary — which has expanded in size profusely!

I try on all of my clothes and if in that moment I don’t feel comfortable in it, I know it isn’t something I will wear in the future and for that reason it goes straight in the boot sale pile.

As for books, I am not getting rid of any, I have sorted what is going to uni and what isn’t by matching the books to the moods I may feel while I am away or if the book would possibly be educational to me during my course.

I haven’t actually gotten much packing done due to the fact that anything else seems more interesting to me when I have something that needs to be done.

Part of my procrastination may be due to hunger or boredom, but a bigger part of me is doing this because I am saying goodbye to the house I grew up in and I am doing this slowly.

It feels like everything is changing all at once and I’m not quite sure what to focus on precisely. Both parents are moving/have moved, I’m not in the best place socially right now and I’m about to head to uni (which is a whole lot harder when you still don’t know exactly where you are going).

I cannot quite pinpoint exactly what is stressing me out the most, but I know that soon enough everything will be happening all at once and there will be no time to focus on one single thing.

It feels like I’m in some kind of weird limbo where part of me is waiting for things to happen and the other part of me is afraid of everything that’s right around the corner. I don’t know which way is up and that’s why I’m choosing a Netflix coma over any sort of reality — until my own reality hits me in about a month’s time.

This post is probably rather vague and I hope you’re all just as confused as my emotions are right now.

Until next time (hopefully sooner than later),

XOXO

Han.

Brain, what are you doing?!

I am twenty in five days and have just finished yet another first year of college…
After finishing high school, I went to sixth form for two years, I then took a year at college in a course that was definitely not for me (Travel and Tourism), but this year I joined the course that I know is meant for me (Publishing/Print Based Media).

The whole reason that I decided to go to college after sixth form was because I didn’t want to go to university, but since doing this year at college I keep thinking about what it would be like to go to uni.

This year I made some amazing friends, and one of them (Amy H) is leaving us to go to uni and will not be back for the second year of our course. While Amy H was preparing everything for uni, it got me thinking about everything. I feel like part of me didn’t want to go to uni because of how wrapped up I was in my relationship, but now I have nothing holding me back, my feelings are not enough and I can’t let them hold me back if I have no chance.

When I finish my second year, I am seriously considering uni now, which feels silly as all of my friends from sixth form will be finishing their uni courses, as they come to the end of uni, I will be at the very start.

Me and Amy C were discussing all things university the day before last and it got me very excited about what’s to come with my education, we were chatting about it and came to the conclusion that this could be the fresh start that is much needed, I would be in a different location, all on my own (which would be daunting at first) where new opportunities await.

My only worries are what will come of my employment, funding and accommodation. Bring on the new stress…

Not to worry yet though, all I need to do for now is research courses, which universities to consider and focus on the last year of my college course.

XOXO

A confused Hannah.