January Hmmmm.

It’s January 10th. I’m sat on the train and on my way back to Leicester. I’ve had a nice Christmas and don’t really want to leave – not the place, just the people.

Anyway, my point is that it’s January 10th. January the 10th and I’m only just deciding my New Years resolutions right here, right now on the train. Oops.

I don’t usually make concrete resolutions, I’m pretty easy on myself, but I’ve got to make them and stick to them this year!

Begin, shall I?

Climb girl, climb.

On my return to uni, I am purchasing my insurance card which allows me to join the climbing club, then I can climb regularly and hopefully gain more confidence, strength and technique. I’m afraid of falling, but the more confidence I get on the wall, the less I fear the height and the falling part becomes less likely to happen.

#HealthyGoals

This resolution just involves sticking to my healthy eating habits no matter where I am – maybe it will help others around me eat a little better too?

Less sugary temptations, more fruits and nuts!

Balancing the pounds

The pounds I refer to here are of the financial kind. I need to try my best to only buy necessities and just treat myself once in a while.

Easier said than done, but one of those money box challenges may help me save.

ZzzzzZzzzzzZzz

I must go to bed earlier, Netflix less and avoid napping during the day. Or just go to bed earlier.

Stress less

About everything. Maybe organising myself as much as possible will help, the more sleep certainly will too.

I shall focus on less things at once, tackling things one at a time, whatever they are, will certainly make life easier. It may also help me focus more.

That’s all of my New Years resolutions, or at least what I can think of right now!

I’m looking forward to climbing more and becoming stronger because of it.

I look forward to seeing the ones I love again soon, sucks being away from your favourite people.

Until next time,

XOXO

Hannah.

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Here I Am

Moving to university has been a lot to take in all at once, it’s like being thrown into the deep end before you’ve learned how to swim.

I’ve let the water pull me down a little recently in the sense that I haven’t been on my blog to post anything, not been able to sleep very well and also haven’t even been catching up on my tv shows!

I’ve been solely focusing on getting into my timetable routine and understanding exactly what needs to be done for my studies, how long it will take etc. that I haven’t actually been out as much as all of the other freshers. I have been going out, just not as much as other people and I’ve decided to focus less on drinking, more on learning.

I’m having a great time here, though, going out occasionally is much better for me than going out all the time. I am figuring out the balance and realising that I’m at the age where I don’t need to go out all the time. I actually prefer socialising with my flat-mates, going to the cinema and having lunches is much nicer.

I have been so mentally drained since moving here, I’ve had lots of reading to do and it took me about a week to unpack everything! I’m here now and I should be blogging back to normal once I have all of my different modules embedded in my brain.


Living alone is weird, but good weird.

The pros include things such as;

  • Knowing exactly how much food I have left all the time.
  • Knowing when I’m actually running out of things such as shampoo and shower gel.
  • Having long showers if I want them.

The cons include;

  • A fear that if I hurt myself badly, it may go unnoticed for days.
  • Doing my own laundry – although this actually feels very independent at the same time.
  • Having to cook dinner for yourself all the time – sometimes you just want to eat and not have to cook it first.

There are many other pros and cons, but these are the main ones in my eyes.


Unpacking and setting up my bedroom/bathroom was cool, everything in my room is a reflection of myself and is organised in a way that is accessible and tidy.

My attempt at photographing my room wasn’t the best, but here are some pictures of it nonetheless;

This is my attempt at a panoramic shot - it didn't go so well...

This is my attempt at a panoramic shot – it didn’t go so well…

Books and DVDs, the essentials of course...

Books and DVDs, the essentials of course…

Little pieces of me on my notice board, it actually looks a little different to this already.

Little pieces of me on my notice board, it actually looks a little different to this already.

The hallway is out there, maybe i'll show you guys the rest of the flat in another post.

The hallway is out there, maybe I’ll show you guys the rest of the flat in another post.

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Didn't realise how vital bathroom storage was until I was on my own...

Didn’t realise how vital bathroom storage was until I was on my own…

My large collection of expensive mugs and shot glasses...

My large collection of expensive mugs and shot glasses…


Leaving my hometown has given me the chance to really think about what I want in other areas of my life. I know that I should always trust my instincts and understand that everything is happening for a reason. What is meant to be always will be and sometimes we have to experience all the bad stuff to get to the good.

I have never lost faith in the things that matter to me most and I never will.

Speak soon, stay smiling,

XOXO

Hannah.

Pack Up Your Troubles

My idea of packing is procrastinating by becoming re-acquainted with all of the belongings that had slowly lost their use, but still meant enough to me to hoard over the years until now.

I am a naturally reflective person anyway, but when it comes to digging up everything in the room that I have grown up in it also makes me rather sad also. I feel like this is the end of an era, I am letting go of the past, but keeping my memories. This is not only a time to de-clutter and minimise the amount of belongings I have, it is also a time to tidy up my emotions; As I let go of things that I have held onto for many years for the wrong reasons, I am also letting go of those memories attached.

Obviously I will keep many things with high sentimental value, but I must also remember that the memories don’t necessarily live within those objects unless I let them, they live in my mind. It’s time to let go of anything that I am holding onto because I think it is a memory and realise that it truly is just an object.

My packing strategy is simple; I am keeping the things of high importance, luckily many things that hold sentimental value to me are conveniently the right size to fit in my diary — which has expanded in size profusely!

I try on all of my clothes and if in that moment I don’t feel comfortable in it, I know it isn’t something I will wear in the future and for that reason it goes straight in the boot sale pile.

As for books, I am not getting rid of any, I have sorted what is going to uni and what isn’t by matching the books to the moods I may feel while I am away or if the book would possibly be educational to me during my course.

I haven’t actually gotten much packing done due to the fact that anything else seems more interesting to me when I have something that needs to be done.

Part of my procrastination may be due to hunger or boredom, but a bigger part of me is doing this because I am saying goodbye to the house I grew up in and I am doing this slowly.

It feels like everything is changing all at once and I’m not quite sure what to focus on precisely. Both parents are moving/have moved, I’m not in the best place socially right now and I’m about to head to uni (which is a whole lot harder when you still don’t know exactly where you are going).

I cannot quite pinpoint exactly what is stressing me out the most, but I know that soon enough everything will be happening all at once and there will be no time to focus on one single thing.

It feels like I’m in some kind of weird limbo where part of me is waiting for things to happen and the other part of me is afraid of everything that’s right around the corner. I don’t know which way is up and that’s why I’m choosing a Netflix coma over any sort of reality — until my own reality hits me in about a month’s time.

This post is probably rather vague and I hope you’re all just as confused as my emotions are right now.

Until next time (hopefully sooner than later),

XOXO

Han.

Stuck In The Middle

First of all, I’d like to apologise for my absence and tell you all that I have no excuse whatsoever. Unless abandoning my own thoughts counts as a good excuse.

I, since returning from holiday last week, haven’t been doing much with my time. Leaving the house twice during the day this week was as productive as I got and I’m not sorry.

This past week I have found myself in a slump, the realisation that I have nothing to do for the next two months hit me hard and I have been feeling a little isolated from the world.

Usually, if I found myself with little to do I would pop to town for a little retail therapy or see my friends, but they are either away on their own adventures or busy at work.

This has given me time to catch up on almost every TV show that I’d forgotten about and led me to actually start using Pinterest correctly; Pinterest led me to once again look at tattoo ideas for my rib cage and it’s safe to say I have found/altered a design that I will definitely be getting on my skin in the hopefully near future.

I am now dealing with the anxiety of waiting around for the results that confirm my place at my desired university, this is driving my crazy and will continue to tangle my brain for the next month until I get these results.

If I don’t get the results that I need I will still be going to university, this will either involve me figuring out how clearing works (seriously, what?!) or accepting the fact that fate wanted me to take my unconditional offer instead.

It’s all very good discussing this now, but I am not going to let it torture me until results day, I have to find a way to forget, a distraction to take my mind off of this day until it arrives.

Having nothing to do has given me so much time to think, that I had too many posts in mind for my blog and instead of posting any of them, I opted for radio silence and this is me breaking that silence.

This gap between college and university is awkward, affecting me a little more than I expected and in a month or so I should hopefully feel ready to go and start the next three years of my life!

It’s great to be back, I love you all and I won’t leave you again (at least not until I have a mental breakdown).

XOXO

Hannah.

That’s That

This week (this Thursday to be exact) is finally my last day at college! After doing two years of sixth form and a year at college doing the complete wrong course for me, I found the one that was right and now I am about to finish that too.

A couple of days ago I got my final grade for the course I had been studying — Print-Based Media/Creative Media Production/Journalism — it has so many names that I have lost count, but the point is that I was very pleased with the grade I received.

I have proven to myself that I really can succeed if the challenge is within something that I am passionate about. As a person that always dreads the day I get educational results, I was positively shocked and I could feel the majority of my stress dissolving into the atmosphere around me.

Although I still have to wait until one result, this has certainly been a weight off and this grade has shown me that I did do the right thing in deciding to procrastinate in college for a further two years. I have used this time to figure my shit stuff out and then realise that University actually was a possibility for me.

Hitting slow-mo on going to University truly was a great decision for me because I have used the time that I would have been at University to get the ‘I’ve just turned 18, let’s go clubbing ALL THE  TIME’ behaviour out of the way and I will be going into this with a little more maturity and understanding of myself. Yes, I will still go out and drink, but it’ll be much more responsibly as I prefer a chilled evening with friends at the pub than clubbing until stupid o’clock anyway.

Stress will always exist because there is no way of me avoiding absolutely everything that stresses me out, but I am going to handle it in the best way possible and just stay positive about everything as much as I can.

For anyone out there that has absolutely no idea what they want to do with their life or their career; I can assure you that I have been there and everybody has their own timeline. Don’t jump into anything if you’re not ready and do things on your own terms, find yourself and everything else will fall into place.

You, reader, just peeked into my brain.

see you next time!

XOXO

Hannah.

LA Baby!

Hey everyone!

I haven’t posted in ages and I have no excuse. This time last week I had already returned from LA and was probably getting over the last of my jet lag.

I’ve always wanted to go to America, felt a pull towards the country as a whole. I felt I would fit in better there than I do in England and I’m pretty sure that feeling had proven to be right after my visit. I felt more at home away from my home country!

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This was initially an educational trip, we visited places linked to our course of study. I study Creative Media Production/Print Based Media, which covers pretty much all media platforms and I, personally am focusing my career path towards journalism or film studies. The places we visited were perfect for my current course and possible future career, we went to Los Angeles Times and Los Angeles Magazine where we got to see what it’s like to actually work in that environment. They were currently working towards publishing deadlines, which gave us a chance to see a real and working newsroom in all its glory.

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We went to Venice Beach, Olvera Street, Santa Monica and obviously, Hollywood.

Everywhere we went was breathtaking, each location was different and full of character. I loved Venice Beach and I can’t illustrate exactly what it was like there because it changed at every turn! While wondering across the beautiful mix of sand and skateparks, a few others and I discovered a basketball game being reported by William Baldwin. – I tried searching the internet and found nothing, so I have no clue if it was an important game.

Just a pathway away from the basketball game there was a film crew setting up for what appeared to be some sort of dance movie, it was probably for a really popular one but I don’t particularly watch them (they’re all the same to me).

When we went to Olvera Street it felt like we had stepped into a new country within the country, it was full of history and felt very sacred. It is the oldest part of downtown Los Angeles and everything about it felt historical, this place was all about tradition. It amazed me that one part of LA could be so very different to another.

Next we went to Hollywood which consisted of studio visits and all the tourist-esque things expected from a trip like this. We did the Warner Bros. VIP Studio Tour and the Universal Tram Tour.

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I basically lost it when we went to Warner Bros. as it is the home of Pretty Little Liars. We walked around the outdoor sets of PLL; Rosewood High School, Hollis College, Most of Rosewood really. We didn’t go in the actually sound stage BECAUSE THEY WERE FILMING THAT DAY, I am amazed that I kept it together at all and didn’t have some kind of fan-fueled breakdown. Universal Studios was awesome too, with all the Back to the Future cars and Jurassic Park!

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I loved the tours more than the rides because it was great to get a real understanding of everything that goes into creating films, learning studio secrets and camera tricks. Me being me, I purchased just the right amount of merchandise, but I definitely could have got more!! (Someone take me back, I need the rest of the Pretty Little Liars merchandise section!).

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We had one full day exploring actual Hollywood, shopping a little (my money went on Victoria’s Secret and Sephora that day) and then we had dinner at the Hard Rock Café (where I obviously got a t-shirt).

I loved Hollywood, the studios were better for me as it felt more personal and I gained knowledge. Hollywood was good for photographing your favourite star on the walk of fame and they were setting up a red carpet that day which was interesting to see.

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On our last day we went to Santa Monica, it was a lovely place and I spent most of my time shopping and attempting to explore (harder to do when you have to stay in a group). I got some beautiful pictures, but the memories of being there are better. We didn’t have as long as I hoped in Santa Monica, but I managed to go in a fair few shops and pick up a Bloomingdale’s bag!

We then had a nice long plane ride home.

All-in-all it was a lovely trip, I love America, I love everything about it and it felt like home. Maybe one day it will be my home, but that’s another story for another day.

Currently feeling the blues of being back, but I visited my future University yesterday (my second visit) and I am 100% sure that De Montfort is the place for me. I have my place, it’s just a waiting game now. I have so many plans, hopes, dreams for the future and I look forward to sharing more of my journey with all of you.

Thanks for taking the time to read me rambling on and on, I love you guys.

XOXO

Hannah.

Paris Perfection!

Two weeks ago I went to Paris with one of my best friends and it was lovely in so many ways. I don’t know if it was the break from constant social media shenanigans, being away from multiple sources of stress or just being away from my routine but the feeling of escaping everyday surroundings was a relief.

eiffel

There’s something exhilarating about being somewhere unfamiliar, not knowing exactly where you are but still knowing that you are far from lost. This break — although it was only a few days — put a lot of my stress on hold and forced me to enjoy the moment I was in right there, right then. I was not thinking about the next day, because I didn’t want the one I was having, to end.

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Yes, we went to Disneyland and usually that involves rushing to get on every ride (plan, plan, planning), but for some reason it wasn’t rushed at all. Maybe it was because there were only two of us going around the park alone or because we were the least stressed we had been in months, but we were relaxed each and every day. We were actually late to breakfast on one of the days and didn’t make it to the park until around 10am! Yet somehow we got every ride done that we wanted to and some we even rode twice!

medialive001There was an actual purpose to this trip, which was the Media Live! Conference held in the cinema of Disney Village. I actually attended last year’s one too and they are well worth going to if you are a media student. The conference is great for any questions you have and could even bring out a little inspiration from within.

After our Disneyland days came to an end, we reached our last day and this day was spent getting the basic-tourist-Eiffel-Tower-pictures.

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Instead of going up the Eiffel Tower we decided to explore some of the streets around the landmark and have a deliciously French lunch in a rather posh restaurant that was hidden down one of the side roads and away from all of the tourists. We also found a stand outside the American Library in Paris which was giving away free books, so naturally we took as many as we could carry!

freebooks

All in all it was a lovely trip, a little chilly with only two rainy showers! I wish we could go every year and explore all there is to see in France as a whole.

It was nice to get away from the real world and all the stresses that I face. Next up is LA LA Land at the end of the month and I honestly cannot wait!

Sorry it’s been so long, I have been a very busy girl!

Until next time…

XOXO

Hannah.

Goodbye 2014 & Resolutions

This year, to say the least has been an experience.

I have loved the wrong people too much and the right people not enough. I have cared too much, not focused on my own needs enough and lost myself along the way.

The months leading up to the New Year I have done a lot of soul searching, discovered that I do want to go to university, accepted and let go of a relationship – but not a friendship. I have come to find that sometimes things just aren’t meant to be and it may take a little time for it to sink in, but it always does. Overcoming a situation that I thought was impossible has helped me let go of a lot of negativity and I am so ready to discover what 2015 has to offer me.

I am going to start the new year with some resolutions that I will (hopefully) stick to;

1. Think positive — This year is only going to run smoothly if I am optimistic about everything, the less negativity, the better end result I will get. Think happy thoughts and happy things will happen!

2. Kick these terrible eating habits! — One week I am eating next to nothing, the week after I am having too much junk food, the week after its no sugar at all and my body just wants to shut down. It’s time to get healthy again and make my body feel better. No more ill Hannah!

3. Gym!!! — My god, have I been slacking recently! I will blame this one on Christmas break and leave it at that. January begins and I will be hitting that gym, no more paying for a membership and not using it!

4. Bye, bye alcohol! — Think one won’t be easy and I do not mean quitting alcohol all together (that’s just silly, I am a student). This means a lot less, less of everything (clubbing and drinking). It will not only benefit my health, but also my purse.

5. Love the one’s that love you back — It’s easy to love people too much, but if you aren’t getting that love in return any more, then it’s wasted. I will not waste my time and energy anymore. I will also not waste any time hating people. What’s the point? If I don’t like someone or they don’t like me, I will leave them to it.

So that’s that.

I wish everyone the best, have a lovely New Year.

I love all of you,

See you next year!

XOXO

Hannah.

2015, I am ready for you.

2014 has been a year of many ups and many more downs, but it all changes now.

As we move on to a new year I plan on making the most of everything and not letting anything or anyone get me down.

I plan to make every day count and stay positive. No negative thoughts (when possible). If I stay positive about everything in my life, I will have a better outcome.

2015 will mark a positive me. I will lead a healthier lifestyle, think optimistically whenever possible and carpe diem.

This time around, nobody’s going to rain on my parade.

If you are reading this, I love you.

XOXO

Hannah.

Permission to be excited?

I am counting the days until I get to see many people that I love very much– aside from the deadlines for college, I cannot wait for next week and the weeks that follow afterwards.

My closest friends are either coming home from University or important trips. I am looking forward to spending time with them and making the most of their presence until they go back to their studies and busy lives.

I plan to have various coffee dates, cinema trips and nights out on the lead up to the new year. It has been far too long since I have seen some of these people and it will do me some good to reconnect with them.

Each and every one of them should know who they are and if it wasn’t clear enough before (if they are reading this) they should know that I love them all very much and cannot wait to see them!

I will use the rest of my days prior to their returns to focus on finishing my work and getting it submitted in time.

Looking forward to spending some quality time with these beautiful people!

Love you all ❤

XOXO,

Hannah.