Here I Am

Moving to university has been a lot to take in all at once, it’s like being thrown into the deep end before you’ve learned how to swim.

I’ve let the water pull me down a little recently in the sense that I haven’t been on my blog to post anything, not been able to sleep very well and also haven’t even been catching up on my tv shows!

I’ve been solely focusing on getting into my timetable routine and understanding exactly what needs to be done for my studies, how long it will take etc. that I haven’t actually been out as much as all of the other freshers. I have been going out, just not as much as other people and I’ve decided to focus less on drinking, more on learning.

I’m having a great time here, though, going out occasionally is much better for me than going out all the time. I am figuring out the balance and realising that I’m at the age where I don’t need to go out all the time. I actually prefer socialising with my flat-mates, going to the cinema and having lunches is much nicer.

I have been so mentally drained since moving here, I’ve had lots of reading to do and it took me about a week to unpack everything! I’m here now and I should be blogging back to normal once I have all of my different modules embedded in my brain.


Living alone is weird, but good weird.

The pros include things such as;

  • Knowing exactly how much food I have left all the time.
  • Knowing when I’m actually running out of things such as shampoo and shower gel.
  • Having long showers if I want them.

The cons include;

  • A fear that if I hurt myself badly, it may go unnoticed for days.
  • Doing my own laundry – although this actually feels very independent at the same time.
  • Having to cook dinner for yourself all the time – sometimes you just want to eat and not have to cook it first.

There are many other pros and cons, but these are the main ones in my eyes.


Unpacking and setting up my bedroom/bathroom was cool, everything in my room is a reflection of myself and is organised in a way that is accessible and tidy.

My attempt at photographing my room wasn’t the best, but here are some pictures of it nonetheless;

This is my attempt at a panoramic shot - it didn't go so well...

This is my attempt at a panoramic shot – it didn’t go so well…

Books and DVDs, the essentials of course...

Books and DVDs, the essentials of course…

Little pieces of me on my notice board, it actually looks a little different to this already.

Little pieces of me on my notice board, it actually looks a little different to this already.

The hallway is out there, maybe i'll show you guys the rest of the flat in another post.

The hallway is out there, maybe I’ll show you guys the rest of the flat in another post.

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Didn't realise how vital bathroom storage was until I was on my own...

Didn’t realise how vital bathroom storage was until I was on my own…

My large collection of expensive mugs and shot glasses...

My large collection of expensive mugs and shot glasses…


Leaving my hometown has given me the chance to really think about what I want in other areas of my life. I know that I should always trust my instincts and understand that everything is happening for a reason. What is meant to be always will be and sometimes we have to experience all the bad stuff to get to the good.

I have never lost faith in the things that matter to me most and I never will.

Speak soon, stay smiling,

XOXO

Hannah.

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Goodbye 2014 & Resolutions

This year, to say the least has been an experience.

I have loved the wrong people too much and the right people not enough. I have cared too much, not focused on my own needs enough and lost myself along the way.

The months leading up to the New Year I have done a lot of soul searching, discovered that I do want to go to university, accepted and let go of a relationship – but not a friendship. I have come to find that sometimes things just aren’t meant to be and it may take a little time for it to sink in, but it always does. Overcoming a situation that I thought was impossible has helped me let go of a lot of negativity and I am so ready to discover what 2015 has to offer me.

I am going to start the new year with some resolutions that I will (hopefully) stick to;

1. Think positive — This year is only going to run smoothly if I am optimistic about everything, the less negativity, the better end result I will get. Think happy thoughts and happy things will happen!

2. Kick these terrible eating habits! — One week I am eating next to nothing, the week after I am having too much junk food, the week after its no sugar at all and my body just wants to shut down. It’s time to get healthy again and make my body feel better. No more ill Hannah!

3. Gym!!! — My god, have I been slacking recently! I will blame this one on Christmas break and leave it at that. January begins and I will be hitting that gym, no more paying for a membership and not using it!

4. Bye, bye alcohol! — Think one won’t be easy and I do not mean quitting alcohol all together (that’s just silly, I am a student). This means a lot less, less of everything (clubbing and drinking). It will not only benefit my health, but also my purse.

5. Love the one’s that love you back — It’s easy to love people too much, but if you aren’t getting that love in return any more, then it’s wasted. I will not waste my time and energy anymore. I will also not waste any time hating people. What’s the point? If I don’t like someone or they don’t like me, I will leave them to it.

So that’s that.

I wish everyone the best, have a lovely New Year.

I love all of you,

See you next year!

XOXO

Hannah.

BRB losing my mind

I have been pushed to the limit, stretched too far.

There are only so many thoughts and feelings that a person can have before their brain goes into overdrive. My mind is frazzled and my body exhausted.

All of these things playing on my mind are causing me migraines and I need clarity.

I want things to go my way and work out, I want the ability to focus and get everything straight.

I have so much to do, things to pay off, deadlines and a very confused heart.

Someone give me the power to freeze time so that I can hibernate for a few weeks and recharge mentally and physically.

I cannot focus if I am worrying about the future and I cannot work on my future if I am not focused.

So basically, I have come to the conclusion that I need to be Wonderwoman and I need superpowers in order to survive this mess challenge that we call life.

Peace,

XOXO

Hannah.

Posting from the gym

Yes, you read that right, I’m at the gym and I am going to be here a lot more as of next week.

As soon as I get that blender I will be throwing myself right into this health kick, until then I will do what I can do, which is gym lots and stay away from naughty food!

Whenever I come in here I am surrounded by people that are already fit and it’s imtimidating, I want to be one of them, I want people I come into the gym and feel as intimidated as I do when they see me.

I need I do my research and stick to a routine. This isn’t going I be easy, but it will be rewarding.

It’s time I focused on me and not let other people control my feelings.

I am not going to let my feelings hold me back, I am going to focus on me until I am in a good place, then I will worry about my feels towards particular others.

Not only am I going to be healthier, but I’m also going to continue with that big clear out! I need to stop hoarding everything, be heartless and just throw stuff out.

Once everything is clear, maybe life will become a little clearer too.

Adios amigos,

XOXO

Hannah.