January Hmmmm.

It’s January 10th. I’m sat on the train and on my way back to Leicester. I’ve had a nice Christmas and don’t really want to leave – not the place, just the people.

Anyway, my point is that it’s January 10th. January the 10th and I’m only just deciding my New Years resolutions right here, right now on the train. Oops.

I don’t usually make concrete resolutions, I’m pretty easy on myself, but I’ve got to make them and stick to them this year!

Begin, shall I?

Climb girl, climb.

On my return to uni, I am purchasing my insurance card which allows me to join the climbing club, then I can climb regularly and hopefully gain more confidence, strength and technique. I’m afraid of falling, but the more confidence I get on the wall, the less I fear the height and the falling part becomes less likely to happen.

#HealthyGoals

This resolution just involves sticking to my healthy eating habits no matter where I am – maybe it will help others around me eat a little better too?

Less sugary temptations, more fruits and nuts!

Balancing the pounds

The pounds I refer to here are of the financial kind. I need to try my best to only buy necessities and just treat myself once in a while.

Easier said than done, but one of those money box challenges may help me save.

ZzzzzZzzzzzZzz

I must go to bed earlier, Netflix less and avoid napping during the day. Or just go to bed earlier.

Stress less

About everything. Maybe organising myself as much as possible will help, the more sleep certainly will too.

I shall focus on less things at once, tackling things one at a time, whatever they are, will certainly make life easier. It may also help me focus more.

That’s all of my New Years resolutions, or at least what I can think of right now!

I’m looking forward to climbing more and becoming stronger because of it.

I look forward to seeing the ones I love again soon, sucks being away from your favourite people.

Until next time,

XOXO

Hannah.

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Ready?

Yesterday marked the next big step in my life, moving to Leicester and becoming a student at De Montfort University.

After stressing about packing for uni and for a house move, I’ve finally got it together and can proudly say that my childhood room is officially empty. It’s such a strange feeling knowing that when I come back at Christmas, it won’t be to the house that I’ve known my whole life so far.

Although it will be daunting, I know that I am ready to do this, it’s time to take responsibility and learn how to be a proper twenty-something; a somewhat mature version of myself with a sprinkle of crazy (because nobody’s perfect and that would be boring anyway).

I’ve packed way too many mugs and an unwearable amount of clothes, but I’d rather be overpacked than to find I have forgotten everything that I need. Besides, I need to feel at home or I may start to get a little sad.

Unpacking will probably take a while as our Freshers Week starts in tomorrow, so I’ll probably be too busy exploring to open all of my boxes right away!

It’s taken a while, but after a few months on my own I’ve realised that I should always trust my instincts as they always seem to turn out right and I will utilise this wisdom at uni. The minute anything doesn’t seem right, I get a bad feeling or vibe, I shall go with my gut feeling and this should be applied to everything.

I will not depend on others too much as I’ve been let down way too much recently. I am learning to appreciate the people that are here for me and not to expect anything from anyone as eventually they let you down anyway and do exactly what you knew they would (this doesn’t apply to family).

On a positive note, I recently starting climbing again, after seven years out of practice and I really enjoyed it. Did somebody say climbing society?

I’m so ready to start fresh and I’m very excited to see what lies ahead for my future. I look forward to the new friendships I will make and the lessons I will learn.

I hope you join me on this journey as I shall hopefully be posting things regularly again!

See you on the flip side,

XOXO

Hannah.

When The Days Feel Like Weeks…

This current stage of my life is the most awkward so far. Usually, I have a purpose, something to keep my focus on — this could be professionally or personally — but right now there’s nothing.

I am playing the waiting game and it feels never ending. By this waiting game, I mean in between knowing my options and waiting for my exam results. All of my exams results and certificates should be through by this coming Thursday, but I’d be lying if I said I was handling this well.

The people around me have noticed it (although that isn’t many people most of the time as everyone is very busy), I haven’t been myself, I can’t stop stressing about it and it’s causing me to get angry over the most stupid things. This stress is affecting me in regards to my energy and appetite, it’s causing me to eat crap and although it’s had no effect on my weight, it’s making me feel crap inside.

I miss going out and enjoying myself, but I am rarely in the mood to leave the house because I’m too worried about what my future holds to think about right now.

It feels like I’m the only one left waiting for my results which leaves me to fear that even if I do get the results I want that it may be first come first serve and that I may still be left without my desired place.

I’m not sure exactly how it works and maybe that’s why I’m worrying about this more than I should, but I honestly don’t know if I am. I have worked so hard to get here and I don’t know if I can handle any more disappointment that I have recently received.

For anyone reading this, I apologise for being so depressing, but in order to let go of some of this stress and worry, I need to share it. The more I share on here, the less it’s bottled up in my mind and maybe it will help me take back a little bit of my sanity — if there’s any left.

With less than a week to go, I will try to get out of the house more and take my mind off of it until it’s here.

Wish me luck!

XO

Hannah.

Pack Up Your Troubles

My idea of packing is procrastinating by becoming re-acquainted with all of the belongings that had slowly lost their use, but still meant enough to me to hoard over the years until now.

I am a naturally reflective person anyway, but when it comes to digging up everything in the room that I have grown up in it also makes me rather sad also. I feel like this is the end of an era, I am letting go of the past, but keeping my memories. This is not only a time to de-clutter and minimise the amount of belongings I have, it is also a time to tidy up my emotions; As I let go of things that I have held onto for many years for the wrong reasons, I am also letting go of those memories attached.

Obviously I will keep many things with high sentimental value, but I must also remember that the memories don’t necessarily live within those objects unless I let them, they live in my mind. It’s time to let go of anything that I am holding onto because I think it is a memory and realise that it truly is just an object.

My packing strategy is simple; I am keeping the things of high importance, luckily many things that hold sentimental value to me are conveniently the right size to fit in my diary — which has expanded in size profusely!

I try on all of my clothes and if in that moment I don’t feel comfortable in it, I know it isn’t something I will wear in the future and for that reason it goes straight in the boot sale pile.

As for books, I am not getting rid of any, I have sorted what is going to uni and what isn’t by matching the books to the moods I may feel while I am away or if the book would possibly be educational to me during my course.

I haven’t actually gotten much packing done due to the fact that anything else seems more interesting to me when I have something that needs to be done.

Part of my procrastination may be due to hunger or boredom, but a bigger part of me is doing this because I am saying goodbye to the house I grew up in and I am doing this slowly.

It feels like everything is changing all at once and I’m not quite sure what to focus on precisely. Both parents are moving/have moved, I’m not in the best place socially right now and I’m about to head to uni (which is a whole lot harder when you still don’t know exactly where you are going).

I cannot quite pinpoint exactly what is stressing me out the most, but I know that soon enough everything will be happening all at once and there will be no time to focus on one single thing.

It feels like I’m in some kind of weird limbo where part of me is waiting for things to happen and the other part of me is afraid of everything that’s right around the corner. I don’t know which way is up and that’s why I’m choosing a Netflix coma over any sort of reality — until my own reality hits me in about a month’s time.

This post is probably rather vague and I hope you’re all just as confused as my emotions are right now.

Until next time (hopefully sooner than later),

XOXO

Han.