There are some things that are out of my control, like the speed a letter can arrive or teleportation and I need to stop fretting over these things and just get on with it.
It’s time to focus on me, get my shit together and gain inner strength.
If I cannot love myself, how can I expect another to love me and even if they do, it would surely impact them to see me in a more positive light.
It’s time for me to be selfish, focus on my own goals and create a mindset that involves less negativity.
I shall start by reducing my sugar intake. I know that eating the amount of sugar that I have is the root to why my skin is so bad, so why do I choose to ignore that fact and sabotage myself? Enough of this, with the amount of drinking that I do, I certainly don’t need to destroy myself in other ways too.
This takes me to my next step which is to actually, like — really reduce my drinking. I have actually done really well this month and have only gone out once so far, if I could just stick to this every month it will not only benefit my liver but also my purse!
Once I find a good balance and eventually regain the energy levels that I have been lacking recently I can start going to the gym regularly again. I know that having no energy is no excuse for lack of exercise but I have literally been feeling like the life has been taken out of me, run down and unable to function. Once I get out of this funk (which may involve a change in diet) I can start gymming regularly again and actually enjoy it!
I am already on the right track to being in the right frame of mind, I am still going crazy over things that are completely out of my control and I feel destroyed inside, but focusing on everything else is really helping.
Focusing on College work and applying for University has really taken my mind off things and if I stick to this not only will my grades be better, but I will have made a real start progressing to University too. Yes, I will still feel destroyed inside, but I will have other things to focus on and when the time comes I will gain clarity of the things that are really messing with my head as of present.
This is basically a huge to-do list of how to fix myself for the better, it will only work if I stick to it and my life will better because of it.
Sometimes you have to wait for things, but theres no point in moping around and wasting precious time. I am not getting any younger, time is still turning and I cannot put my future on hold, if anything this is the push that I need.
If it’s meant to be, it will be and I will just have to wait and see what happens.
Peace & Love,