Goodbye 2015

This year has been interesting, it started out as a mix of good and shit. This continued for most of the year.

I got into university this year, finally passed a certain exam that had been holding me back for a very long time, quit my job and made a few hair mistakes.

My personal life took quite a hit, but others around me seemed to be happy. For me, the positivity that I focused on throughout most of this year was from educational success and I’m thankful to be ending this year a hell of a lot happier than I started it, thanks to other areas in my life (which I like to keep private on here, if you hadn’t already noticed).

On the subject of privacy, I decided to delete my Facebook and make my new account more private. I was fed up of getting creepy requests and messages from complete strangers, this started to get out of hand and I’m glad I deleted it. I’m now less addicted to Facebook than I was and one of my resolutions will most probably be to cut down on social media because that’s not where real life is and it’s easy to forget that when you’re on it too much.

Maybe everyone should make that resolution and start living for the moment and not for likes on your profile.

I’m looking forward to what 2016 has to bring, but I’m not looking forward to the countless essays I have to write for all my modules.

2016 is going to be a healthier one and I am going to take care of myself and maybe get some of the ink that I’ve wanted for a while… Maybe a new piercing too?

Either way, I hope you guys have a great new year and I’ll try to post more on 2016 (maybe a resolutions list in early January).

Love ya, stay happy and be safe however you’re celebrating tonight!

XOXO

TFH.

 

 

 

Advertisements

Pack Up Your Troubles

My idea of packing is procrastinating by becoming re-acquainted with all of the belongings that had slowly lost their use, but still meant enough to me to hoard over the years until now.

I am a naturally reflective person anyway, but when it comes to digging up everything in the room that I have grown up in it also makes me rather sad also. I feel like this is the end of an era, I am letting go of the past, but keeping my memories. This is not only a time to de-clutter and minimise the amount of belongings I have, it is also a time to tidy up my emotions; As I let go of things that I have held onto for many years for the wrong reasons, I am also letting go of those memories attached.

Obviously I will keep many things with high sentimental value, but I must also remember that the memories don’t necessarily live within those objects unless I let them, they live in my mind. It’s time to let go of anything that I am holding onto because I think it is a memory and realise that it truly is just an object.

My packing strategy is simple; I am keeping the things of high importance, luckily many things that hold sentimental value to me are conveniently the right size to fit in my diary — which has expanded in size profusely!

I try on all of my clothes and if in that moment I don’t feel comfortable in it, I know it isn’t something I will wear in the future and for that reason it goes straight in the boot sale pile.

As for books, I am not getting rid of any, I have sorted what is going to uni and what isn’t by matching the books to the moods I may feel while I am away or if the book would possibly be educational to me during my course.

I haven’t actually gotten much packing done due to the fact that anything else seems more interesting to me when I have something that needs to be done.

Part of my procrastination may be due to hunger or boredom, but a bigger part of me is doing this because I am saying goodbye to the house I grew up in and I am doing this slowly.

It feels like everything is changing all at once and I’m not quite sure what to focus on precisely. Both parents are moving/have moved, I’m not in the best place socially right now and I’m about to head to uni (which is a whole lot harder when you still don’t know exactly where you are going).

I cannot quite pinpoint exactly what is stressing me out the most, but I know that soon enough everything will be happening all at once and there will be no time to focus on one single thing.

It feels like I’m in some kind of weird limbo where part of me is waiting for things to happen and the other part of me is afraid of everything that’s right around the corner. I don’t know which way is up and that’s why I’m choosing a Netflix coma over any sort of reality — until my own reality hits me in about a month’s time.

This post is probably rather vague and I hope you’re all just as confused as my emotions are right now.

Until next time (hopefully sooner than later),

XOXO

Han.

Don’t worry, be happy

Ever feel like you put so much effort into something and get nothing back? That’s how I feel after this month and I am now in fear that I am doing the same for this upcoming month too.

Those of you that have me on social media sites will know that I’ve been in a bad mood all week and it’s because I am trapped right now.

I had been counting down for the end of the month, put that date on a pedestal as it were the answer to my problems, because initially it was.

The end of the month was supposed to be the end to my financial difficulty and instead it appears I have worked all month for nothing.

While waiting for a miracle to happen I have been trying to take my mind off this issue with my final major project at college.

I had this idea to analyse the way music makes us feel, how we have specific emotions linked to songs that act almost as a soundtrack to a particular memory. Focusing on this idea has kept me in my own little world, that and my Netflix addiction, which is at an all time high!

While I feel angry, betrayed and exhausted from working for nothing, I know I need to focus on all the positives.

Positivity is key and I have a lot to look forward to. I have university, where is a question of the outcome of my upcoming exams — this is more stress, but I will have a university to go to regardless of my results, thanks to a lucky unconditional offer to fall back on.

I finished Paper Towns and will probably be reviewing that soon and discussing my view on how they are adapting this to the screen.

I have managed to watch almost FIVE SEASONS of The Vampire Diaries which I started watching just before I went to LA at the start of March. Although I am busy, I may have replaced sleep with Netflix to get to where I am in the programme. I am doing this for a reason and that reason is to get up to date in order to write about it for the online magazine in which I write for.

I am not sure what I am going to do about my current financial situation because I am quite frankly struggling now and it’s infuriating as I put all my time and energy in for practically nothing.

So that’s where I’m at right now, just thought I’d update you before I post about other various things!

If anyone else is struggling with the same situation as me, I suggest you focus on the positives too and remember that you’re letting them win if they’re getting you down!

Peace out my darlings,

XOXO

Hannah.

LA Baby!

Hey everyone!

I haven’t posted in ages and I have no excuse. This time last week I had already returned from LA and was probably getting over the last of my jet lag.

I’ve always wanted to go to America, felt a pull towards the country as a whole. I felt I would fit in better there than I do in England and I’m pretty sure that feeling had proven to be right after my visit. I felt more at home away from my home country!

11118067_10205630196008773_1889248994_n11148990_10205630196368782_1939095948_n

This was initially an educational trip, we visited places linked to our course of study. I study Creative Media Production/Print Based Media, which covers pretty much all media platforms and I, personally am focusing my career path towards journalism or film studies. The places we visited were perfect for my current course and possible future career, we went to Los Angeles Times and Los Angeles Magazine where we got to see what it’s like to actually work in that environment. They were currently working towards publishing deadlines, which gave us a chance to see a real and working newsroom in all its glory.

11149025_10205630195968772_75139650_n11123562_10205630178528336_39965859_n

We went to Venice Beach, Olvera Street, Santa Monica and obviously, Hollywood.

Everywhere we went was breathtaking, each location was different and full of character. I loved Venice Beach and I can’t illustrate exactly what it was like there because it changed at every turn! While wondering across the beautiful mix of sand and skateparks, a few others and I discovered a basketball game being reported by William Baldwin. – I tried searching the internet and found nothing, so I have no clue if it was an important game.

Just a pathway away from the basketball game there was a film crew setting up for what appeared to be some sort of dance movie, it was probably for a really popular one but I don’t particularly watch them (they’re all the same to me).

When we went to Olvera Street it felt like we had stepped into a new country within the country, it was full of history and felt very sacred. It is the oldest part of downtown Los Angeles and everything about it felt historical, this place was all about tradition. It amazed me that one part of LA could be so very different to another.

Next we went to Hollywood which consisted of studio visits and all the tourist-esque things expected from a trip like this. We did the Warner Bros. VIP Studio Tour and the Universal Tram Tour.

11156900_10205630178208328_1220295178_n11160278_10205630178488335_572572904_n

I basically lost it when we went to Warner Bros. as it is the home of Pretty Little Liars. We walked around the outdoor sets of PLL; Rosewood High School, Hollis College, Most of Rosewood really. We didn’t go in the actually sound stage BECAUSE THEY WERE FILMING THAT DAY, I am amazed that I kept it together at all and didn’t have some kind of fan-fueled breakdown. Universal Studios was awesome too, with all the Back to the Future cars and Jurassic Park!

11145938_10205630178328331_211899209_n11139899_10205630196208778_1553178172_n

I loved the tours more than the rides because it was great to get a real understanding of everything that goes into creating films, learning studio secrets and camera tricks. Me being me, I purchased just the right amount of merchandise, but I definitely could have got more!! (Someone take me back, I need the rest of the Pretty Little Liars merchandise section!).

11148937_10205630195928771_929227813_n11156860_10205630196448784_35367170_n

We had one full day exploring actual Hollywood, shopping a little (my money went on Victoria’s Secret and Sephora that day) and then we had dinner at the Hard Rock Café (where I obviously got a t-shirt).

I loved Hollywood, the studios were better for me as it felt more personal and I gained knowledge. Hollywood was good for photographing your favourite star on the walk of fame and they were setting up a red carpet that day which was interesting to see.

11116079_10205630196048774_1586264291_n

On our last day we went to Santa Monica, it was a lovely place and I spent most of my time shopping and attempting to explore (harder to do when you have to stay in a group). I got some beautiful pictures, but the memories of being there are better. We didn’t have as long as I hoped in Santa Monica, but I managed to go in a fair few shops and pick up a Bloomingdale’s bag!

We then had a nice long plane ride home.

All-in-all it was a lovely trip, I love America, I love everything about it and it felt like home. Maybe one day it will be my home, but that’s another story for another day.

Currently feeling the blues of being back, but I visited my future University yesterday (my second visit) and I am 100% sure that De Montfort is the place for me. I have my place, it’s just a waiting game now. I have so many plans, hopes, dreams for the future and I look forward to sharing more of my journey with all of you.

Thanks for taking the time to read me rambling on and on, I love you guys.

XOXO

Hannah.