January Hmmmm.

It’s January 10th. I’m sat on the train and on my way back to Leicester. I’ve had a nice Christmas and don’t really want to leave – not the place, just the people.

Anyway, my point is that it’s January 10th. January the 10th and I’m only just deciding my New Years resolutions right here, right now on the train. Oops.

I don’t usually make concrete resolutions, I’m pretty easy on myself, but I’ve got to make them and stick to them this year!

Begin, shall I?

Climb girl, climb.

On my return to uni, I am purchasing my insurance card which allows me to join the climbing club, then I can climb regularly and hopefully gain more confidence, strength and technique. I’m afraid of falling, but the more confidence I get on the wall, the less I fear the height and the falling part becomes less likely to happen.

#HealthyGoals

This resolution just involves sticking to my healthy eating habits no matter where I am – maybe it will help others around me eat a little better too?

Less sugary temptations, more fruits and nuts!

Balancing the pounds

The pounds I refer to here are of the financial kind. I need to try my best to only buy necessities and just treat myself once in a while.

Easier said than done, but one of those money box challenges may help me save.

ZzzzzZzzzzzZzz

I must go to bed earlier, Netflix less and avoid napping during the day. Or just go to bed earlier.

Stress less

About everything. Maybe organising myself as much as possible will help, the more sleep certainly will too.

I shall focus on less things at once, tackling things one at a time, whatever they are, will certainly make life easier. It may also help me focus more.

That’s all of my New Years resolutions, or at least what I can think of right now!

I’m looking forward to climbing more and becoming stronger because of it.

I look forward to seeing the ones I love again soon, sucks being away from your favourite people.

Until next time,

XOXO

Hannah.

Sanity, Is That You?

As most of you know — from either reading my blog posts or being around me — I have been über stressed about university and the countdown to getting my results.

After having to wait almost a week after everybody else had received their results, I finally got mine.

I actually found out that I had a place at my desired university (De Montfort) before I’d even received my results, which led me to believe that I had done well, which was confirmed two days later.

It felt like so much stress had disappeared at that moment, a weight lifted off of my shoulders and it felt as if I were walking on air.

I am in an extremely rare moment right now where I actually have nothing to worry about. My personal life isn’t great, but it’s not bad, it just has no significance.

This summer has been the marking of many changes, all of the negatives have been in my personal life, but I didn’t get upset about them like I should have because somewhere deep down inside my intuition told me that this was all happening for a reason. I knew that this was all happening to prepare for bigger, better things and as the weeks passed it became clear that those better things were coming to me in the form of educational success.

Right now I am going to enjoy the time that I have left, which is roughly a month. That’s one whole month sans responsibility, aside from the first instalment of rent and any other money related set backs, this is going to be a fairly relaxed month.

It is a shame about my personal life taking so many hits this summer, I feel like everything that meant something to me has just disappeared and it has left me feeling rather empty at times, but life is all about balance and after my educational track record, it’s about time things went right in that department.

I’m not going to dwell on the bad stuff right now, I need to look at everything as a clean slate and focus on the excitement of starting over.

I’m rather sick of feeling negative, so hopefully my personal life picks up a little, but I’m sure everything will work out for the best as long as I keep a positive attitude about everything.

Here’s to starting over,

XOXO

Hannah.

When The Days Feel Like Weeks…

This current stage of my life is the most awkward so far. Usually, I have a purpose, something to keep my focus on — this could be professionally or personally — but right now there’s nothing.

I am playing the waiting game and it feels never ending. By this waiting game, I mean in between knowing my options and waiting for my exam results. All of my exams results and certificates should be through by this coming Thursday, but I’d be lying if I said I was handling this well.

The people around me have noticed it (although that isn’t many people most of the time as everyone is very busy), I haven’t been myself, I can’t stop stressing about it and it’s causing me to get angry over the most stupid things. This stress is affecting me in regards to my energy and appetite, it’s causing me to eat crap and although it’s had no effect on my weight, it’s making me feel crap inside.

I miss going out and enjoying myself, but I am rarely in the mood to leave the house because I’m too worried about what my future holds to think about right now.

It feels like I’m the only one left waiting for my results which leaves me to fear that even if I do get the results I want that it may be first come first serve and that I may still be left without my desired place.

I’m not sure exactly how it works and maybe that’s why I’m worrying about this more than I should, but I honestly don’t know if I am. I have worked so hard to get here and I don’t know if I can handle any more disappointment that I have recently received.

For anyone reading this, I apologise for being so depressing, but in order to let go of some of this stress and worry, I need to share it. The more I share on here, the less it’s bottled up in my mind and maybe it will help me take back a little bit of my sanity — if there’s any left.

With less than a week to go, I will try to get out of the house more and take my mind off of it until it’s here.

Wish me luck!

XO

Hannah.

If at first you don’t succeed…

What I have come to realise from the past few months is that it has become very easy for me to read people and understand when someone is worth your time.

Not everyone has the same goals and priorities, but when it comes down to caring for people and being there it should come as a natural instinct to drop the less important things or at least respond.

I am so over waiting around for people and wasting my precious time on people who wouldn’t do the same for me if the roles were reversed. I do not know how long I have to live and I certainly don’t want to look back on my life and wonder what on earth I was doing for a huge chunk of it.

Going to university is a big deal, but it’s also eight months ago. This means that I should still be focusing on right now and anyone that I spend time with should not be thinking of my time with them as one with an expiry date. I already know who I can and can’t count on and I am very happy with the friends that I have, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t make new ones. If the people I meet see me as the sort of person that will go away and completely forget about them they are surely mistaken. I make effort. If I care about you, I will make some form of contact with you and if you don’t reciprocate then I know where I stand.

Life is all about discovery, I am always discovering new things about myself, others and the way others see me. Sometimes these discoveries can be painful and sometimes they can be marvelous.

I am in a good place in my life and I know that I don’t have time for bullshit.

I will focus only on the positives and the people that make me truly happy.

Laters taters,

XOXO

Hannah.

It’s time

There are some things that are out of my control, like the speed a letter can arrive or teleportation and I need to stop fretting over these things and just get on with it.

It’s time to focus on me, get my shit together and gain inner strength.

If I cannot love myself, how can I expect another to love me and even if they do, it would surely impact them to see me in a more positive light.

It’s time for me to be selfish, focus on my own goals and create a mindset that involves less negativity.

I shall start by reducing my sugar intake. I know that eating the amount of sugar that I have is the root to why my skin is so bad, so why do I choose to ignore that fact and sabotage myself? Enough of this, with the amount of drinking that I do, I certainly don’t need to destroy myself in other ways too.

This takes me to my next step which is to actually, like — really reduce my drinking. I have actually done really well this month and have only gone out once so far, if I could just stick to this every month it will not only benefit my liver but also my purse!

Once I find a good balance and eventually regain the energy levels that I have been lacking recently I can start going to the gym regularly again. I know that having no energy is no excuse for lack of exercise but I have literally been feeling like the life has been taken out of me, run down and unable to function. Once I get out of this funk (which may involve a change in diet) I can start gymming regularly again and actually enjoy it!

I am already on the right track to being in the right frame of mind, I am still going crazy over things that are completely out of my control and I feel destroyed inside, but focusing on everything else is really helping.

Focusing on College work and applying for University has really taken my mind off things and if I stick to this not only will my grades be better, but I will have made a real start progressing to University too. Yes, I will still feel destroyed inside, but I will have other things to focus on and when the time comes I will gain clarity of the things that are really messing with my head as of present.

This is basically a huge to-do list of how to fix myself for the better, it will only work if I stick to it and my life will better because of it.

Sometimes you have to wait for things, but theres no point in moping around and wasting precious time. I am not getting any younger, time is still turning and I cannot put my future on hold, if anything this is the push that I need.

If it’s meant to be, it will be and I will just have to wait and see what happens.

Peace & Love,

XOXO

Hannah.

Hello judgement

So a few days ago me and Amy C decided to make our first ever vlog, I can’t help but cringe at it, but everyone’s first vlog is embarrassing.

Our channel is Tea and Crumpets (Tea for Hannah and Amy’s nickname mixed together). We uploaded this for fun as we enjoyed filming it and have decided to do more vlogs in the future.

Although people will think we are stupid, I couldn’t care less. We enjoyed ourselves and if others enjoy it then that’s great, if not that’s cool, everyone is entitled to an opinion.

In this video we attempted to do the Duvet Burrito bed roll which Amy found on Scott Culley’s youtube channel.

It was a laugh to film and I hope you enjoy it.

(Sound is rather deep at the beginning and we have no idea why)…

Love, love, love

XOXO

Hannah.

My Gym Anxiety

Since joining a new gym last month I haven’t actually used any gym equipment, I have stuck to the places I know, which has pretty much only been the swimming pool.

It’s not even that I don’t know where anything is, because I could virtually walk to where I need to go right now in my head. I am not used to this gym, or the people, or the slightly different equipment and I am afraid that I will make a fool of myself.

For one everyone at this gym seems highly judgemental and I panic and think there’s something on my clothes or face or whatever. At my old gym I had got myself into a little routine and I am yet to do this at my new gym.

I am also completely alone at this gym. It was easier to go to the gym with my friends when we were at the one near our high street as it was easier to get to, but with everyone’s busy schedules (including my own), I am finding myself more and more without a gym buddy and that reduces my motivation to go.

This is also the reason I have recently bought myself new gym clothes on Fabletics, because if I have new things to wear to the gym, I will feel more obligated to go.

I am also just feeling too tired to go to the gym, this isn’t a valid excuse and this is probably down to my fucked up sleep pattern, once I get that sorted I might actually have a little more energy to do a decent workout.

My plan is to start going to this gym properly as soon as my Fabletics order arrives and actually use the gym equipment, not just the pool.

I also need to get my eating pattern sorted, because that’s a mess, but that’s a story for another time.

Stay beautiful,

XOXO

Hannah.

Birthday!

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Here is the amazeballs ‘TeaforHannah’ inspired birthday card that Hannah Heddle made for me, it looks better than my actual logo!

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I spent my birthday (Wednesday, 25th) shopping with birthday money and going out in the evening with my lovely girls!

We had such great night and spent the majority of it in the pub. I really couldn’t ask for more lovely friends, each and every one of them are so special to me and if they are reading this I hope they feel appreciated.

Thanks to everyone that made my birthday special, I love you all.

XOXO

Hannah.

Nivea Night creams!

So over last month I have been trying out two different night creams, I usually don’t use night creams but was having such good luck with all of the Nivea products that I thought i’d try everything!

I started off using the Nivea Night Regenerating Cream and was amazed by it. Usually when I put anything on my face at night, I end up with breakouts. When I used this cream I had no breakouts, my skin stayed relatively clear and some of my scarring faded slightly.

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I was so amazed by this product that I decided to try the anti-ageing one too. The Nivea Q10 Plus Anti-Wrinkle Night Cream was thicker, I noticed small breakouts, but nothing major, as for the anti-wrinkle side of things, I don’t actually have wrinkles, but will probably use this night cream in the future.

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All in all both creams are great, my skin is highly sensitive and reacts badly to products that most people are okay with. If your skin is also highly sensitive I recommend you trying the products that I have found to be effective!

Love Hannah.

~ XOXO

Beauty: New skincare, new skin?

So after facing that I cannot go back to my Origins or BareMinerals moisturisers and (as stated in my previous post) purchasing some Nivea ones. Hoping that my skin wouldn’t react to the Nivea ones as they are very simple and also very low in price which is a great bonus!

I have been using the Nivea Cremé and the Nivea Light Moisturising Day Cream and am happy to say that my skin hasn’t reacted to either of them, what’s better is that my skin may finally be getting better!

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I cannot confirm that they are great just yet, but have had no problems yet.

The Nivea Creme is a little oily for my liking, but sinks in eventually and the Light Moisturising Day Cream is fine on my skin, reacts a little with my burn (that happened at Benefit Cosmetics) that is healing now. I expected that the cream may react with the burn as it is still quite delicate, that is nothing to do with the cream, just my skin’s current state.

The Nivea Cremé appears to actually be healing the burn, this isn’t the purpose of the Cremé but it is working.

As for the Light moisturising day cream, I have no reactions, it is light on my skin and causes no breakouts, still a tiny bit oily but goes away on it’s own roughly a minute after application.

So glad that Nivea seems to work with my skin as they have many decent products at very reasonable prices!

Going to become a Nivea whore…

Love Hannah

~ XOXO