Ready?

Yesterday marked the next big step in my life, moving to Leicester and becoming a student at De Montfort University.

After stressing about packing for uni and for a house move, I’ve finally got it together and can proudly say that my childhood room is officially empty. It’s such a strange feeling knowing that when I come back at Christmas, it won’t be to the house that I’ve known my whole life so far.

Although it will be daunting, I know that I am ready to do this, it’s time to take responsibility and learn how to be a proper twenty-something; a somewhat mature version of myself with a sprinkle of crazy (because nobody’s perfect and that would be boring anyway).

I’ve packed way too many mugs and an unwearable amount of clothes, but I’d rather be overpacked than to find I have forgotten everything that I need. Besides, I need to feel at home or I may start to get a little sad.

Unpacking will probably take a while as our Freshers Week starts in tomorrow, so I’ll probably be too busy exploring to open all of my boxes right away!

It’s taken a while, but after a few months on my own I’ve realised that I should always trust my instincts as they always seem to turn out right and I will utilise this wisdom at uni. The minute anything doesn’t seem right, I get a bad feeling or vibe, I shall go with my gut feeling and this should be applied to everything.

I will not depend on others too much as I’ve been let down way too much recently. I am learning to appreciate the people that are here for me and not to expect anything from anyone as eventually they let you down anyway and do exactly what you knew they would (this doesn’t apply to family).

On a positive note, I recently starting climbing again, after seven years out of practice and I really enjoyed it. Did somebody say climbing society?

I’m so ready to start fresh and I’m very excited to see what lies ahead for my future. I look forward to the new friendships I will make and the lessons I will learn.

I hope you join me on this journey as I shall hopefully be posting things regularly again!

See you on the flip side,

XOXO

Hannah.

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A Little Bit Longer

In exactly two weeks I will be moving to Leicester in preparation for Fresher’s Week and studying at De Montfort University.

I’m still amazed that something actually went my way academically, after all the bad luck I’ve had in that area, part of me was expecting the worst.

Nonetheless here I am, preparing for one of the biggest changes in my life so far and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t scared. The anxiety I feel is mainly about friendships; I’m worried about drifting apart from people while they are wrapped up I their own things, I feel I may get left behind. Like the dust left behind when a car shoots off into the distance.

I’m taking forever to pack, mainly because I am not only packing things for uni, but I’m packing my bedroom away and saying goodbye forever to the room that I grew up in.

It’s partly the disturbance of objects that have been in one place for so long that is making me sad and also my attempt at throwing things out. I find myself going through everything and reminiscing, everything I have come across so far has had memories attached, making it that little bit harder to throw said things away.

I need to get a shimmy on with all this packing now and just let go of anything holding me back, now is the time to clear out and allow myself space for new objects with new memories.

As the weeks pass, I’m becoming more and more ready to move. I’m ready for this new chapter, to start over with my personal life. Living three hours from home is a pretty good way to start over too.

I’m obviously going to come home and visit, because I’ve got to see the lovely people back home still, haven’t I?

I will miss my friends and family at home, but it will be nice to get a sense of true independence.

Time to get my pack on!

Speak soon,

XOXO

Hannah.

Sanity, Is That You?

As most of you know — from either reading my blog posts or being around me — I have been über stressed about university and the countdown to getting my results.

After having to wait almost a week after everybody else had received their results, I finally got mine.

I actually found out that I had a place at my desired university (De Montfort) before I’d even received my results, which led me to believe that I had done well, which was confirmed two days later.

It felt like so much stress had disappeared at that moment, a weight lifted off of my shoulders and it felt as if I were walking on air.

I am in an extremely rare moment right now where I actually have nothing to worry about. My personal life isn’t great, but it’s not bad, it just has no significance.

This summer has been the marking of many changes, all of the negatives have been in my personal life, but I didn’t get upset about them like I should have because somewhere deep down inside my intuition told me that this was all happening for a reason. I knew that this was all happening to prepare for bigger, better things and as the weeks passed it became clear that those better things were coming to me in the form of educational success.

Right now I am going to enjoy the time that I have left, which is roughly a month. That’s one whole month sans responsibility, aside from the first instalment of rent and any other money related set backs, this is going to be a fairly relaxed month.

It is a shame about my personal life taking so many hits this summer, I feel like everything that meant something to me has just disappeared and it has left me feeling rather empty at times, but life is all about balance and after my educational track record, it’s about time things went right in that department.

I’m not going to dwell on the bad stuff right now, I need to look at everything as a clean slate and focus on the excitement of starting over.

I’m rather sick of feeling negative, so hopefully my personal life picks up a little, but I’m sure everything will work out for the best as long as I keep a positive attitude about everything.

Here’s to starting over,

XOXO

Hannah.

Pack Up Your Troubles

My idea of packing is procrastinating by becoming re-acquainted with all of the belongings that had slowly lost their use, but still meant enough to me to hoard over the years until now.

I am a naturally reflective person anyway, but when it comes to digging up everything in the room that I have grown up in it also makes me rather sad also. I feel like this is the end of an era, I am letting go of the past, but keeping my memories. This is not only a time to de-clutter and minimise the amount of belongings I have, it is also a time to tidy up my emotions; As I let go of things that I have held onto for many years for the wrong reasons, I am also letting go of those memories attached.

Obviously I will keep many things with high sentimental value, but I must also remember that the memories don’t necessarily live within those objects unless I let them, they live in my mind. It’s time to let go of anything that I am holding onto because I think it is a memory and realise that it truly is just an object.

My packing strategy is simple; I am keeping the things of high importance, luckily many things that hold sentimental value to me are conveniently the right size to fit in my diary — which has expanded in size profusely!

I try on all of my clothes and if in that moment I don’t feel comfortable in it, I know it isn’t something I will wear in the future and for that reason it goes straight in the boot sale pile.

As for books, I am not getting rid of any, I have sorted what is going to uni and what isn’t by matching the books to the moods I may feel while I am away or if the book would possibly be educational to me during my course.

I haven’t actually gotten much packing done due to the fact that anything else seems more interesting to me when I have something that needs to be done.

Part of my procrastination may be due to hunger or boredom, but a bigger part of me is doing this because I am saying goodbye to the house I grew up in and I am doing this slowly.

It feels like everything is changing all at once and I’m not quite sure what to focus on precisely. Both parents are moving/have moved, I’m not in the best place socially right now and I’m about to head to uni (which is a whole lot harder when you still don’t know exactly where you are going).

I cannot quite pinpoint exactly what is stressing me out the most, but I know that soon enough everything will be happening all at once and there will be no time to focus on one single thing.

It feels like I’m in some kind of weird limbo where part of me is waiting for things to happen and the other part of me is afraid of everything that’s right around the corner. I don’t know which way is up and that’s why I’m choosing a Netflix coma over any sort of reality — until my own reality hits me in about a month’s time.

This post is probably rather vague and I hope you’re all just as confused as my emotions are right now.

Until next time (hopefully sooner than later),

XOXO

Han.

LA Baby!

Hey everyone!

I haven’t posted in ages and I have no excuse. This time last week I had already returned from LA and was probably getting over the last of my jet lag.

I’ve always wanted to go to America, felt a pull towards the country as a whole. I felt I would fit in better there than I do in England and I’m pretty sure that feeling had proven to be right after my visit. I felt more at home away from my home country!

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This was initially an educational trip, we visited places linked to our course of study. I study Creative Media Production/Print Based Media, which covers pretty much all media platforms and I, personally am focusing my career path towards journalism or film studies. The places we visited were perfect for my current course and possible future career, we went to Los Angeles Times and Los Angeles Magazine where we got to see what it’s like to actually work in that environment. They were currently working towards publishing deadlines, which gave us a chance to see a real and working newsroom in all its glory.

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We went to Venice Beach, Olvera Street, Santa Monica and obviously, Hollywood.

Everywhere we went was breathtaking, each location was different and full of character. I loved Venice Beach and I can’t illustrate exactly what it was like there because it changed at every turn! While wondering across the beautiful mix of sand and skateparks, a few others and I discovered a basketball game being reported by William Baldwin. – I tried searching the internet and found nothing, so I have no clue if it was an important game.

Just a pathway away from the basketball game there was a film crew setting up for what appeared to be some sort of dance movie, it was probably for a really popular one but I don’t particularly watch them (they’re all the same to me).

When we went to Olvera Street it felt like we had stepped into a new country within the country, it was full of history and felt very sacred. It is the oldest part of downtown Los Angeles and everything about it felt historical, this place was all about tradition. It amazed me that one part of LA could be so very different to another.

Next we went to Hollywood which consisted of studio visits and all the tourist-esque things expected from a trip like this. We did the Warner Bros. VIP Studio Tour and the Universal Tram Tour.

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I basically lost it when we went to Warner Bros. as it is the home of Pretty Little Liars. We walked around the outdoor sets of PLL; Rosewood High School, Hollis College, Most of Rosewood really. We didn’t go in the actually sound stage BECAUSE THEY WERE FILMING THAT DAY, I am amazed that I kept it together at all and didn’t have some kind of fan-fueled breakdown. Universal Studios was awesome too, with all the Back to the Future cars and Jurassic Park!

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I loved the tours more than the rides because it was great to get a real understanding of everything that goes into creating films, learning studio secrets and camera tricks. Me being me, I purchased just the right amount of merchandise, but I definitely could have got more!! (Someone take me back, I need the rest of the Pretty Little Liars merchandise section!).

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We had one full day exploring actual Hollywood, shopping a little (my money went on Victoria’s Secret and Sephora that day) and then we had dinner at the Hard Rock Café (where I obviously got a t-shirt).

I loved Hollywood, the studios were better for me as it felt more personal and I gained knowledge. Hollywood was good for photographing your favourite star on the walk of fame and they were setting up a red carpet that day which was interesting to see.

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On our last day we went to Santa Monica, it was a lovely place and I spent most of my time shopping and attempting to explore (harder to do when you have to stay in a group). I got some beautiful pictures, but the memories of being there are better. We didn’t have as long as I hoped in Santa Monica, but I managed to go in a fair few shops and pick up a Bloomingdale’s bag!

We then had a nice long plane ride home.

All-in-all it was a lovely trip, I love America, I love everything about it and it felt like home. Maybe one day it will be my home, but that’s another story for another day.

Currently feeling the blues of being back, but I visited my future University yesterday (my second visit) and I am 100% sure that De Montfort is the place for me. I have my place, it’s just a waiting game now. I have so many plans, hopes, dreams for the future and I look forward to sharing more of my journey with all of you.

Thanks for taking the time to read me rambling on and on, I love you guys.

XOXO

Hannah.

Now the New Year can begin.

Getting a new diary is a liberating moment. It may be a little late, but today I got my 2015 paperblanks diary and it felt like I was letting go of all of last year’s drama. Letting go of all the previous pages and starting fresh, this year is a blank canvas and I have the right to decorate it however I like.

It took me a while to get this diary as I was searching for the one I had seen before Christmas. It wasn’t available anymore except online for a lot more money.
This one is a little bigger than last years, but beautiful nonetheless.

I have a good feeling about this year. Like I said, I have a blank canvas and I’m sure it will look magnificent whatever the outcome.
Last year will now be seen as a pile of doodles, practice runs for whatever the future holds.

With 2014 placed in my bedside table, I can say with confidence that I am truly ready for what 2015 has in offer for me (and I hope it involves Hoverboards and flying Deloreans!).

Hope everyone has had a great start to the new year,

XOXO

Hannah.

Fear of the unknown

I am entering a new chapter in my life, I am alone and being driven by my studies. Without my friends by my side and me by theirs, we would have all lost our minds by now and I cannot thank them enough for their endless support.

At this moment in time I am going through a lot of stress, mainly stemmed from deadlines and my university application. I should be enjoying the fact that I have offers and one being for my first choice, but I can’t help but worry. I am so scared that I will not get the grade and it will hold me back.

I wish I could just take the exam now as a trial and if I pass, I can keep that grade. Instead I have to wait until May to take the exam and to be in constant anxiety of failing this test until May is not going to do well for my health. I am already stressing too much which is causing me to lose my appetite and it’s making me feel crap.

All I can do is sit tight and try not to add any more stress to my current situation.

Wish me luck,

XOXO

Hannah.

Nervousness

It is a daunting feeling when your Uni application has actually been sent off and received by the Universities. I am currently in the waiting stage where some offers may be coming in and i’m constantly checking my emails for that all important DMU update.

A little stress has been relieved as I submitted a coursework deadline yesterday and some offers may have come in already, but my heart is set on De Montfort and I beg all of you to throw some wishes of good luck my way!

So much fear and excitement is taking over my mind and I am so thankful that I had a day off today to relax and catch up on sleep, which should hopefully keep me sane for another week.

I am wishing my friends the best of luck with their applications too and know that we are all in the same boat, focus on the excitement!

Love you all,

XOXO

Hannah.

Knuckle down girl.

It’s a new week and i’m positive that although we have a deadline it shouldn’t be too stressful. With one deadline behind me — that was due last week, I have managed to relax a little. Over the weekend I went to work, Netflixed a tad and finished the book I was reading (It girl, a spin off series from the author of Gossip Girl).

After doing a fair amount of work today, I am determined to keep this up until everything is to the best it can be. I made a lot of progress on one of the main pieces need for this assignment today and now feel like I can put my feet up tonight, after my Cardio Tennis class of course.

Recently I feel like I have had a little too much on my plate, it’s good to be busy but I feel like I may have been stretching myself too far. It’s not good for me to be this busy and sometimes I just need a break, my sleep pattern is all over the place and I plan on going to bed at a reasonable time tonight (hopefully).

This girl needs sleep and the only way she is going to get it is if she works her arse of during the day and gets shit done.

If anyone notices that I am online at an unearthly hour, you have permission to send me a virtual slap.

Must be going now,

XOXO

Han.

The decision is final.

Today I went to the De Montfort University open day and if I wasn’t sure before, I am now.

Walking around felt far from daunting, it felt as if I were already home. The buildings are spectacular, the facilities are top notch and the atmosphere was great, I just wanted to soak up every last bit of it.

In order to see if I had made the right course choices I visited the talks for both of them.

The Journalism talk really sold me and when visiting the Creative Writing course it felt as if it were made for me. I could see myself studying here, I could even imagine the type of work that I could see myself doing there.

There is a perfect balance of academic and recreational activities, societies to suit my personal preferences and others that will better my performance as a student.

The city is everything that I could have imagined and so much more, the entire place suits my personality and not only could I see myself studying here, but I could see myself living here afterwards.

I know where I am meant to be and I know that DMU is for me!

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Cross everything for me please and hope that I get in!

I love you all,

XOXO

Hannah.